All posts by Shay

I am simply just me. I am an open book ready to be read by those that are interested.

Single and parenting

I am not sure if anyone has ever said that being a single parent is easy, but I am going to say it. Being a single parent is easy. It is easy to get stressed out. It is easy to get overwhelmed. It is easy to get lost in life as a single parent. Without kids in your life you do not really know the struggle that parents go through. The struggles are multiplied when there is only one person doing the work, taking on the responsibilities, and ensuring that everything gets handled. There are so many parents in the world that choose to disappear out of the lives of their children. For what reason? Do they feel like it will be better for the child(ren)? Do they feel that it will be better for themselves? Do they feel like it is the only option?

Only those people can answer those questions for why they chose not to be in their child’s life. I know why I choose to be in the lives of my children – main reason is I gave birth to them. I was not alone in making them and that is where the team work ended. It is unfortunate that my children do not have what is considered to be a luxury, two parents that love and care for them. I know that this struggle is ongoing, however, I do not plan on letting this take over our lives. There is very little me and a lot of them. I do what I can to ensure their safety, security, and sanity. I know that they miss having both parents, I just pray that I can do a well enough job so that they will not miss it for long.

Ms. Understood

Many times people are confused about me. People tend to look at me and assume a million things about who I am, what I am like, things I do, etc. People are quick to jump to conclusions about me off of first glance prior to making it to a first impression. To them I say: Be careful of what you say (in your mind and out of your mouth) – someone once told me that verbal carelessness may lead you to write off the wrong person. Understanding that words have power, and the type of power comes from the intent of the speaker, will help us to be more aware of what we say, how we say it, and when we say it. So many people think that they know me, but they really have no idea about the type of person that I am until they speak to me. I’m different from what other people see when they look at me. I am an open book…funny thing about books is that you do not know what is inside by glancing at the cover. You have to open it up and read it to gain the knowledge within.

I am very blunt and outspoken to those that know me. To those that do not, I am very shy and quiet. I keep to myself more times than not. I am not a “Hi, how you doing?” type of person. I’m more of a head nod and keep it moving kinda girl. If you engage me I will respond. The type of response depends on the approach.

I have been told that I am rude due to my unfiltered statements at times. I do not feel that I am being rude. When asked my opinion on something, I am very honest and clear. I strive to be understood. My goal is to assist others in making well-informed decisions on their own and putting the reality back in their dream land. So many of us get caught up in the dream of what we want our lives to be that we lose focus of where our lives actually are. I do not like being misunderstood or for people to clump me into a category. I am just me. I am a person that likes things to be clear and concise. I like to know what I am getting myself into before I proceed. I like to help others achieve the same clarity.

I attempt to absorb and retain as much as I can. I like to know. I like to share. I like to talk. I like to listen. I like to learn. I like to help. I am very much into words and how they are used. I am a very analytical person. I break words, ideas, thoughts, and feelings down so that it is clear what the root of the situation is to the best of my ability. I do not hold myself in a higher regard than others unless they make it clear that they hold themselves in low regards to others. I do not lower my standards to fit with the standards of others. I am confident and comfortable with who I am and where I am going.

Often times we are quick to look at one another and assume a variety of things about a person. I do not base my feelings about a person solely on what I see. I give everyone the same amount of rope. It is up to them how they use it.