Category Archives: Personal Reflections

Pack It Up – Working on the move

Anyone that is a creative person will agree with me when I say that there is nothing like finding your groove. If you don’t know what the groove is, I’ll tell you. It’s the moments generated from uninterrupted passion and exploration. The groove is the place where the magic happens for creatives. It’s a great place to be. I enjoy my groove very much. It can be very difficult to find your groove at times. For that reason, I am extremely annoyed when my groove is interrupted. I also understand that as a single mother and a rising entrepreneur, I have to make adjustments and create new grooves whenever and wherever I can.

I have been a single parent for roughly 6 years and I can say that the struggle with that never ceases. At the same time, I can say that the response to the struggle can make all the difference. We can affect the outcome by focusing on the positive lessons that can be learned from each experience. Some of the struggles that affected our lives was my work schedule, workload, and the time I spent away from home. I knew that some things needed to change but I did not know what to do.January 2016, I lost my job and decided to start my business. August 2016, I started homeschooling two of my children.

During this process of starting a business and homeschooling, one of the major lessons I have been learning is how to create a groove on the go. I have to be able to take my notebook, or my laptop, or my phone with me so that I can work while one child dances, one runs, and one plays softball. There are also field trips and educational outings that interrupt our days. This is not to mention the regular flow of life like grocery shopping, doctor’s appointments, and general errands.

I have had to learn how to be productive in my entrepreneurial endeavors all the while being a mommy. I cannot lie and say that is was not hard in the beginning. I can’t even say that it’s not hard now. I do know that I have learned a lot since I started. I was always getting frustrated with having to stop right in the middle of what I felt was greatness. I would feel like my kids were not letting me be great. Once I started to think that they were the reason that some tasks had to be postponed, I had to look closer at how I was prioritizing my time.

Of course, there are things that require devoted attention partnered with peace and quiet. I am not attempting to replace those moments. I am, however, interested in making better use of the moments when I do not have those luxuries. I had to not only look at myself, I had to include my children. I was making so many decisions around them without even taking into consideration how they may want to be involved. I had to learn to make their moments mean more just as I was attempting to make my moments matter.

I wanted to know how I could get things done and still be available to my children. I stopped guessing about what they wanted and asked them. They told me that they would like to be more involved with what I do. They want to be on my schedule for more than extracurricular activities. I listened to what they wanted and decided to devise a schedule that works for us all. It provides me with the space I need at times, allows me to accomplish my tasks, and keeps home school running smoothly as well.

In an effort to help keep me prepared for these interruptions, I started keeping “tools” all around me. There are notepads and pens in the car and in every room in the house. I have created a “to-go” back for my computer and notebooks that’s easy to grab and very functional. I have also synced my phone to my computer so that I can transition smoother. I use multiple apps to keep me organized and focused even when I have to pack it up and work on the move.

I’m Happy You’re Here

Just when I thought that I was good being by myself, you came along changed it up. Like a dope remix to a song you already loved, you switched it. You said, “Hey Beautiful” and at that moment, I had no idea who you were or what you were on. I didn’t know if I should let my guard down or if I should run in the opposite direction. From there, I did a little research on you. I was not disappointed by what turned up. I could not find anything that repulsed me, offended me, annoyed me, or anything like that. From what I could see, you seemed to be cool. You seemed cool enough to be somebody that I could be friends with. So…I responded back and said, “Hello.”

In that moment I didn’t have any expectations. I just wanted to see what would happen. I was curious. I did not want to get excited about anyone that may be just passing through. I did not think that you were coming into my life to change it or to impact it the way that you have. I was willing to see what opportunities you were knocking with; the door was closed when you got here. I was not going to push you away without valid reason. I had no reason to deny you a chance. Denying you was the opposite of what happened. Your mind captivated me. Your conversation engaged me. It was such a clean transition.

You went from being a stranger to someone who I enjoyed getting to know. Every moment spent getting to know you is beautiful. It feels good to connect with someone who is so much like me and so different at the same time. The connection is like a hand and glove or a head and a skully. Something like a match that just fits better than you could have ever imagined. I did not think that things would go this way. You came along and stirred up my comfort zone. You changed my thoughts about maintaining my single status.

I remembered that I have not been ‘bae’ for quite some time, though. I had been single for a good little minute. I was not even sure I was ready like I said I was. What I knew is that I was intrigued by you and I could not deny that. You have shown me so many wonderful things and I am so thankful. You have shown me that you are a handcrafted creation. A gentle touch from your strong hands gives comfort and protection. Your knowledge and wisdom give guidance and understanding. You are a gem, a gift, and I treasure you. I did not know that you were coming to me. If I knew, I would have been ready. I would have done some things differently. Since there is nothing I can do about all of that, I will focus on the facts.

You are here now. You are amazing. I am happy that you are here. You were given to me at such an amazing time. You have seen my transformations and turmoil and you are still here. You have been through a few things on your end and you have allowed me to stay on your side. We give one to another and it is so genuine. I have not felt a connection, a pull, with anyone like this. You were sent down from the top of my storm cloud to usher in the light. I see that. Your truth and honesty are respected and appreciated. The prototype of what many classify as a ‘real dude’, you give a whole new meaning to finding a REAL love.

Legacy

Every day is an opportunity to improve your situation. What are you doing with your days? There is nothing like an epiphany to get you closer to where you need to be. That is exactly what happened to me. I had to sit down and ask myself just that. Prior to this, I could see things getting done and I could see things I was leaving on the table. I did not like that view. It was not conducive to the life I want to live so I wanted to change that. I have goals to leave more than just my memory behind.

At that moment, I decided to adjust the way that I moved through my day. I sat down and thought about everything that I wanted to get done in the next few weeks. I set dates for those goals and wrote them on my calendar. Then I went through my planner and created what each day would look like. Although this may seem pointless to some, it makes a massive difference in how you approach your goals.

I have a goal of being a successful entrepreneur and that takes a lot of work. My field of choice is writing and that requires a lot of time. Planning the days out allows me to see what needs to get done, not just try to remember it all. There are spaces in my day to add in and adjust as things arise but having this blueprint builds consistently and awareness.

The next thing that I did was to write how much money I want to make each day according to time. I had to decide how much time I will spend doing things that don’t make money for me. As an entrepreneur, every dollar has a clock. Each frivolous moment that I spend doing things that do not advance my business is unproductive time spent. That is not to say that time with family and taking time for self is not important, it is very important and must be budgeted into time slots of their own. When it comes to the business time or what most like to call “free time”, you have to decide how you spend that time or how much money you would like to make.

As I stated, personal time and family time is also very important. I also had to figure out how much time I wanted to devote to myself and my loved ones. A social life is not important to me unless it is benefiting my business. I had to sit down and have a real deep internal moment with myself in order to determine how I will leave the legacy that I want to leave behind. I had to make some very difficult choices. I also had to swallow some really hard pills. As a truth seeker, I am built for this. There is no need to get down when plans change. There is just a need for adjustment.

As a girl and a young woman, I had a plan for my life. I wanted to be in a certain place at this point. Things did not go as I planned and I had to adjust. I attempted to adjust my plans but I was approaching it from a backward angle that forced me to keep running into similar problems. When I realized that I had to lead from within I noticed that things started to change. I trusted the inner feeling that guides us. My meditative moments have revealed so much to me. Allowing the truth to reside makes it easier to progress and create a legacy, not just memories.

Not A Typical Day

It was a day like any other, I woke up and proceeded with my daily routine. I got my daughter ready for school and made my coffee. Once her bus departed with her safely loaded, it was time for me to leave. I grabbed my coffee and headed out the door. I did not have a destination in the physical sense, but I knew that I needed to get away from here. I drifted in my mind while my body was still driving. The peaceful presence of silence was so soothing that I lost me. My eyes closed and I surrendered to the feeling. I drifted from this realm to the next and saw a glimpse of what my life could be.

The traffic lights appeared to be beacons of hope. Each green light encouraging me to keep moving forward. Showing me that there is no need to slow down. These lights revealed that I am not the only one in this space. If I stay still at the green light, I am holding up myself and others. It reminded me that there are others waiting for my success. The yellow lights instruct me to proceed with caution and pay close attention to what is going on. This light spoke and told me to take my time and that there is no rush. I could blow past it and keep it moving or I can slow down and assess the situation. The strength of the red light told me that sometimes I will need to take a break in order to keep going. This light reminds me that sometimes you have to stop and rest. Going through this light could be the end of everything.

The support from the universe sings loud like a church choir. The force is with me and within me. The altruistic force of peace, love, and light are the blood, veins, and vessels of who I am. In this moment, I am being shown more than I can understand. I am pulled in directions that I did not know that I could reach. My pineal gland is flushed and revived; I‘m open. I am guided by the universe and strengthened by its embrace.

The drive in the car was initiated with no set destination but the ride was already planned. The journey already commenced. The path was waiting for my trail. It was necessary for this to happen in order for me to reach a new level of clarity. The clarity is needed to gather truth. Truth is the safe place in which I dwell. This drive turned into the ride of a lifetime.

Today started off like any other day, but it is a day I will never forget.

End of the Beginning

I am sitting here thinking about what this year has been like for me and how I will use the lessons that I’ve learned.

I started this year at a job that I knew would only be temporary. I knew that I did not want to be there for long. I told myself, and a few other people, that 2016 would be the last year that I work for someone else’s dream. With that being said, I worked the first two weeks of this year for someone else. My last week at work was the week preceding my birthday. I won a few contest at work and was able to enjoy my birthday on the company. What I was not expecting was to come back to work just to have an issue that would result in my “layoff/termination”. I wanted my leaving to be on my terms once I had a few things worked out, but that wasn’t the case. I was excited and terrified at the same time. This was not the plan that I had. I planned to work until the end of the year and then leave the ‘corporate’ workforce after that.

I was forced to adjust my plan and make some different moves. I felt so depressed going into a cubicle and calling people trying to convince them to come into my job so that my job could potentially rake in the dough. The amount that I made for each person that I got to come in did not compare at all to the amount of money that the company makes when I get a buying customer to come in or if I saved a deal. I knew that this company was not the best company to work for due to my past experience with them. I have seen people pulled out of their element and transformed from humans into people. I was relieved that I did not have to deal with that anymore, but I was concerned about what I was going to do.

I did not have savings stashed away. I was not receiving child support for children from their father. I was originally denied unemployment. The only money that I was receiving was SSI for my daughter. I had no idea of how I was going to put this together and make it work. I resulted to my instinct and started hustling. I did not hustle anything illegal, but I started to think about what I could sell, what I could offer, and what I could provide. I am sure that I started at least 3 businesses during the process. The most amazing part of all of this turmoil is the beauty that was revealed much later…(like December 2016 later).

I started my writing company in April. I decided to devote my energy to make my company successful instead of working for someone else. This was not what I was hearing from others in my life. They felt like I should submit myself to the plague that is ‘Corporate America’. It was a constant struggle for me to decide if I should listen to the world or listen to the spirit. I know that I was given this gift to help others and I know that this is what I was placed here for. This year taught me that I cannot quit on a gift. Regardless of how I attempt to redirect myself away from my calling, I get jolted towards the facts that my gift is my source. My gifts are not things that I tried to make work for me, but things that have been given to me without me asking. Since I have allowed my gift to speak for itself, I have been exposed to so many opportunities.

I have been included in some major projects and I have some pretty awesome clients, to say the least! I have helped with projects for the White House, UNCC Urban Education Collaborative, and Morris Brown College Foundation, just to mention a few. I have self-published my second book, The Book About Life and I have a children’s book coming soon. My company is growing and I am so happy. It feels good to know that what you love to do is what will sustain you. My year has been full of let downs and disappointments; however, I cannot neglect the beauty that has come from all of this. I have learned some valuable business lessons. I have been connected to some amazing people. I started driving with Uber in early November and that has been so awesome. I am able to still work my business as a contracted Uber driver. I have opened my business, my books, and my mind up to so many people. That is one of my goals – to share my experiences with the hope of helping someone else.

As I sit here and reflect on the year that I have had, the things that still need to be done, the people that have come and gone, and the goals that I have yet to accomplish and I smile. Another year down, another set of lessons learned, and new adventures to explore. I am thankful that we have been able to do some really awesome things, like watch my son compete in the Junior Olympics! I appreciate everyone who has ever helped us out, been on our team, stood by us, supported us, encouraged us, loved us, and lifted us up. Thank you is not enough to express the gratitude. My plan is equipped with an evolution clause now that prevents 2016 from ever repeating itself. The struggle still continues, but it feels so much better being on this side of the struggle on my way up rather than on my way down.

I shared all of this to say…you good!

*Don’t worry about the obstacles. They will make it much more glorious when you step over them.

*The hard part is often doing something that goes against what others feel you should do.

*Be mindful of who you share your goals, dreams, and aspirations with. Everyone does not want to witness your come-up.

*Know that your gifts do not have a return option. You were given a gift so that you can be a gift. Do not allow the pain of the struggle to cover your eyes from the truth.

*That feeling inside of you is guiding you and it is right more than it is wrong; TRUST IT!

*Appreciate true love. It makes a hell of a difference when you are going through your toughest times.

*Keep moving forward. You will never be able to get to the next step or jump over the hurdle if you are standing still.