Category Archives: Life Reflections

Why do we keep knowledge a secret?

During a few conversations, the current state of black people came to the forefront. We discussed a number of things, but being black in America kept rising to the top of the conversation. We mentioned some of the things that are keeping black people where they are. From our discussions, it seems that the main thing keeping black people in the rut that they are in is the lack of knowledge.

There are some that will say that knowledge is available to all. There are many of us that beg to differ. Some people have access to information that others do not. There is a great deal of information that is hidden from groups of people purposely. Keeping that information in limited supply assist in the oppression.

I recall seeing the posters in my third-grade teacher’s classroom that read “knowledge is power”. As a child, it didn’t sit with me the way that it does as an adult. We understand that there are systematic issues that cause blacks to be delayed in a number of areas. The strongest prison is that of the mind, so if black people are kept hidden from truth, they will remain inferior. At least that is the hope. Keeping knowledge from the oppressed keeps them oppressed.

It is proven that growth is difficult without knowledge. Once knowledge is attained, why do we keep what we find to ourselves? Why do we want to hold on to the information that we have gained?

I think it goes along with the prison of ignorance. I believe that if you teach someone who they are inferior to someone else, eventually they will give way to that statement. A person will deny something as long as they are confident that the opposite is true. Once black people are given information, most times we keep it to ourselves and expect others to go do what we did to get the knowledge. The idea behind this has very real detrimental effects on survival.

I have seen multiple situations where a black person would withhold information from another black person simply because the information was not “given” to them. People often feel like giving information is like giving away a magic formula for success. The crazy thing about that is we are all different! Even if I share information about how to become a great writer, that doesn’t mean that I won’t be a great writer too. Sharing the knowledge that I have learned does not mean that it will be applied in the same way. In the event that it was, it would still have a different result because the people are different. Nor does it mean that I will lose knowledge if I share it.

Differences are always mentioned when we need to separate ourselves from one another, but very seldom are they mentioned when it comes to ways to assist or benefit one another. The media is full of falsified stories that lead us to believe things one way when they are actually the complete opposite. We accept the perceived knowledge from the media but ignore the facts of each situation. We are often shown that the only way to come up is to get over on others. The strangest thing about that is many also believe in karma. Knowing that karma is the return of what you give to the universe it doesn’t make sense to operate that way.

Share The Love

So one of my favorite things to do is watch TED talks. I thoroughly enjoy the way that these everyday individuals share their thoughts and ideas to enlighten others. It encourages me and it gives me so much clarity on things that I did not even know that I needed clarity on.

Recently, I was watching a few TED talks by Helen Fisher and she said some really powerful things.
Fisher is a researcher, anthropologist, and an author. She has been studying human relations for over 30 years with a focus on love and relationships.

The two TED talks that I watched of hers discussed love and the science behind it. I was so intrigued by her findings. She said some things that reached into my safe place and pulled out some doubt. Her words opened my ears in a way that only my fingertips can explain.

She spoke about love and the levels of love, how our brains react to love, and how we deal with love.
She talked about loving two people at the same time and what that means for our mind. She talked about the hormones associated with love and the why we feel certain things for certain people.

It was most interesting to hear that loving two people at the same time doesn’t mean that you love them the same.

That makes so much sense but it seems like such a horrible thing at the same time. I also think that it sounds worse than it actually is. For example, women love their mates differently than they love their kids but they can love them both simultaneously.

When we think of loving more than one person, we often relate it to intimate partner relationships. That is understandable since that is the area that often causes the most discourse in life. The thing is, we have more than intimate partner relationships. We have friendships, sister/brotherhoods, co-workers, clients, and so on. We like and love an immense amount of people constantly. Contrary to popular miseducation, intimate partner relationships do not halt our feelings of love for others.

The issue with loving more than one person at a time while in an intimate partner relationship is acting on those feelings in a way that could damage the primary relationship. There is nothing wrong with loving one another. However, we all have to be mindful of how we show that love to one another.

Legacy

Every day is an opportunity to improve your situation. What are you doing with your days? There is nothing like an epiphany to get you closer to where you need to be. That is exactly what happened to me. I had to sit down and ask myself just that. Prior to this, I could see things getting done and I could see things I was leaving on the table. I did not like that view. It was not conducive to the life I want to live so I wanted to change that. I have goals to leave more than just my memory behind.

At that moment, I decided to adjust the way that I moved through my day. I sat down and thought about everything that I wanted to get done in the next few weeks. I set dates for those goals and wrote them on my calendar. Then I went through my planner and created what each day would look like. Although this may seem pointless to some, it makes a massive difference in how you approach your goals.

I have a goal of being a successful entrepreneur and that takes a lot of work. My field of choice is writing and that requires a lot of time. Planning the days out allows me to see what needs to get done, not just try to remember it all. There are spaces in my day to add in and adjust as things arise but having this blueprint builds consistently and awareness.

The next thing that I did was to write how much money I want to make each day according to time. I had to decide how much time I will spend doing things that don’t make money for me. As an entrepreneur, every dollar has a clock. Each frivolous moment that I spend doing things that do not advance my business is unproductive time spent. That is not to say that time with family and taking time for self is not important, it is very important and must be budgeted into time slots of their own. When it comes to the business time or what most like to call “free time”, you have to decide how you spend that time or how much money you would like to make.

As I stated, personal time and family time is also very important. I also had to figure out how much time I wanted to devote to myself and my loved ones. A social life is not important to me unless it is benefiting my business. I had to sit down and have a real deep internal moment with myself in order to determine how I will leave the legacy that I want to leave behind. I had to make some very difficult choices. I also had to swallow some really hard pills. As a truth seeker, I am built for this. There is no need to get down when plans change. There is just a need for adjustment.

As a girl and a young woman, I had a plan for my life. I wanted to be in a certain place at this point. Things did not go as I planned and I had to adjust. I attempted to adjust my plans but I was approaching it from a backward angle that forced me to keep running into similar problems. When I realized that I had to lead from within I noticed that things started to change. I trusted the inner feeling that guides us. My meditative moments have revealed so much to me. Allowing the truth to reside makes it easier to progress and create a legacy, not just memories.

Not A Typical Day

It was a day like any other, I woke up and proceeded with my daily routine. I got my daughter ready for school and made my coffee. Once her bus departed with her safely loaded, it was time for me to leave. I grabbed my coffee and headed out the door. I did not have a destination in the physical sense, but I knew that I needed to get away from here. I drifted in my mind while my body was still driving. The peaceful presence of silence was so soothing that I lost me. My eyes closed and I surrendered to the feeling. I drifted from this realm to the next and saw a glimpse of what my life could be.

The traffic lights appeared to be beacons of hope. Each green light encouraging me to keep moving forward. Showing me that there is no need to slow down. These lights revealed that I am not the only one in this space. If I stay still at the green light, I am holding up myself and others. It reminded me that there are others waiting for my success. The yellow lights instruct me to proceed with caution and pay close attention to what is going on. This light spoke and told me to take my time and that there is no rush. I could blow past it and keep it moving or I can slow down and assess the situation. The strength of the red light told me that sometimes I will need to take a break in order to keep going. This light reminds me that sometimes you have to stop and rest. Going through this light could be the end of everything.

The support from the universe sings loud like a church choir. The force is with me and within me. The altruistic force of peace, love, and light are the blood, veins, and vessels of who I am. In this moment, I am being shown more than I can understand. I am pulled in directions that I did not know that I could reach. My pineal gland is flushed and revived; I‘m open. I am guided by the universe and strengthened by its embrace.

The drive in the car was initiated with no set destination but the ride was already planned. The journey already commenced. The path was waiting for my trail. It was necessary for this to happen in order for me to reach a new level of clarity. The clarity is needed to gather truth. Truth is the safe place in which I dwell. This drive turned into the ride of a lifetime.

Today started off like any other day, but it is a day I will never forget.

End of the Beginning

I am sitting here thinking about what this year has been like for me and how I will use the lessons that I’ve learned.

I started this year at a job that I knew would only be temporary. I knew that I did not want to be there for long. I told myself, and a few other people, that 2016 would be the last year that I work for someone else’s dream. With that being said, I worked the first two weeks of this year for someone else. My last week at work was the week preceding my birthday. I won a few contest at work and was able to enjoy my birthday on the company. What I was not expecting was to come back to work just to have an issue that would result in my “layoff/termination”. I wanted my leaving to be on my terms once I had a few things worked out, but that wasn’t the case. I was excited and terrified at the same time. This was not the plan that I had. I planned to work until the end of the year and then leave the ‘corporate’ workforce after that.

I was forced to adjust my plan and make some different moves. I felt so depressed going into a cubicle and calling people trying to convince them to come into my job so that my job could potentially rake in the dough. The amount that I made for each person that I got to come in did not compare at all to the amount of money that the company makes when I get a buying customer to come in or if I saved a deal. I knew that this company was not the best company to work for due to my past experience with them. I have seen people pulled out of their element and transformed from humans into people. I was relieved that I did not have to deal with that anymore, but I was concerned about what I was going to do.

I did not have savings stashed away. I was not receiving child support for children from their father. I was originally denied unemployment. The only money that I was receiving was SSI for my daughter. I had no idea of how I was going to put this together and make it work. I resulted to my instinct and started hustling. I did not hustle anything illegal, but I started to think about what I could sell, what I could offer, and what I could provide. I am sure that I started at least 3 businesses during the process. The most amazing part of all of this turmoil is the beauty that was revealed much later…(like December 2016 later).

I started my writing company in April. I decided to devote my energy to make my company successful instead of working for someone else. This was not what I was hearing from others in my life. They felt like I should submit myself to the plague that is ‘Corporate America’. It was a constant struggle for me to decide if I should listen to the world or listen to the spirit. I know that I was given this gift to help others and I know that this is what I was placed here for. This year taught me that I cannot quit on a gift. Regardless of how I attempt to redirect myself away from my calling, I get jolted towards the facts that my gift is my source. My gifts are not things that I tried to make work for me, but things that have been given to me without me asking. Since I have allowed my gift to speak for itself, I have been exposed to so many opportunities.

I have been included in some major projects and I have some pretty awesome clients, to say the least! I have helped with projects for the White House, UNCC Urban Education Collaborative, and Morris Brown College Foundation, just to mention a few. I have self-published my second book, The Book About Life and I have a children’s book coming soon. My company is growing and I am so happy. It feels good to know that what you love to do is what will sustain you. My year has been full of let downs and disappointments; however, I cannot neglect the beauty that has come from all of this. I have learned some valuable business lessons. I have been connected to some amazing people. I started driving with Uber in early November and that has been so awesome. I am able to still work my business as a contracted Uber driver. I have opened my business, my books, and my mind up to so many people. That is one of my goals – to share my experiences with the hope of helping someone else.

As I sit here and reflect on the year that I have had, the things that still need to be done, the people that have come and gone, and the goals that I have yet to accomplish and I smile. Another year down, another set of lessons learned, and new adventures to explore. I am thankful that we have been able to do some really awesome things, like watch my son compete in the Junior Olympics! I appreciate everyone who has ever helped us out, been on our team, stood by us, supported us, encouraged us, loved us, and lifted us up. Thank you is not enough to express the gratitude. My plan is equipped with an evolution clause now that prevents 2016 from ever repeating itself. The struggle still continues, but it feels so much better being on this side of the struggle on my way up rather than on my way down.

I shared all of this to say…you good!

*Don’t worry about the obstacles. They will make it much more glorious when you step over them.

*The hard part is often doing something that goes against what others feel you should do.

*Be mindful of who you share your goals, dreams, and aspirations with. Everyone does not want to witness your come-up.

*Know that your gifts do not have a return option. You were given a gift so that you can be a gift. Do not allow the pain of the struggle to cover your eyes from the truth.

*That feeling inside of you is guiding you and it is right more than it is wrong; TRUST IT!

*Appreciate true love. It makes a hell of a difference when you are going through your toughest times.

*Keep moving forward. You will never be able to get to the next step or jump over the hurdle if you are standing still.