Category Archives: Random Reflections

Why do we keep knowledge a secret?

During a few conversations, the current state of black people came to the forefront. We discussed a number of things, but being black in America kept rising to the top of the conversation. We mentioned some of the things that are keeping black people where they are. From our discussions, it seems that the main thing keeping black people in the rut that they are in is the lack of knowledge.

There are some that will say that knowledge is available to all. There are many of us that beg to differ. Some people have access to information that others do not. There is a great deal of information that is hidden from groups of people purposely. Keeping that information in limited supply assist in the oppression.

I recall seeing the posters in my third-grade teacher’s classroom that read “knowledge is power”. As a child, it didn’t sit with me the way that it does as an adult. We understand that there are systematic issues that cause blacks to be delayed in a number of areas. The strongest prison is that of the mind, so if black people are kept hidden from truth, they will remain inferior. At least that is the hope. Keeping knowledge from the oppressed keeps them oppressed.

It is proven that growth is difficult without knowledge. Once knowledge is attained, why do we keep what we find to ourselves? Why do we want to hold on to the information that we have gained?

I think it goes along with the prison of ignorance. I believe that if you teach someone who they are inferior to someone else, eventually they will give way to that statement. A person will deny something as long as they are confident that the opposite is true. Once black people are given information, most times we keep it to ourselves and expect others to go do what we did to get the knowledge. The idea behind this has very real detrimental effects on survival.

I have seen multiple situations where a black person would withhold information from another black person simply because the information was not “given” to them. People often feel like giving information is like giving away a magic formula for success. The crazy thing about that is we are all different! Even if I share information about how to become a great writer, that doesn’t mean that I won’t be a great writer too. Sharing the knowledge that I have learned does not mean that it will be applied in the same way. In the event that it was, it would still have a different result because the people are different. Nor does it mean that I will lose knowledge if I share it.

Differences are always mentioned when we need to separate ourselves from one another, but very seldom are they mentioned when it comes to ways to assist or benefit one another. The media is full of falsified stories that lead us to believe things one way when they are actually the complete opposite. We accept the perceived knowledge from the media but ignore the facts of each situation. We are often shown that the only way to come up is to get over on others. The strangest thing about that is many also believe in karma. Knowing that karma is the return of what you give to the universe it doesn’t make sense to operate that way.

She Choosing

Recently I saw a comment that really threw me off. It was in reference to the statement that women are single because they are tired of the crap men do. The comment was something like women like to think that they are single by choice but they really just don’t have anything to offer other than sex. First, this comment was made by someone who I do not know at all. I do not know anything about his personal beliefs or regular interactions. What I gathered from the comment was something very interesting.

He said that women think that they are single by choice. That is where my mind stopped when I first read the comment. It was like a car slamming on the brakes. My eyes could not move past this. Regardless of what he thinks those women have to offer, he feels as if they are not single by choice. Well, if it is not their choice to be single, who is choosing for them?

Each woman makes a decision on her own. His statement sounds like women are forced to be single or forced to be in relationships for that matter. Like women just move through life according to what someone else tells them to do. Each woman is different and although this may be true for some women, it is not a blanket that can cover every woman on earth. As stated, the latter portion of the comment mentioned that those women are single because they only have sex to offer.

Let us be clear. The only way that a woman can have sex with a man is if he wants to have sex with her. She offers what she feels will be received. If she offers sex to him, he has a choice to accept or deny it. He has the opportunity to change the focus of the interaction.

In the event that he accepts, he also has the choice to proceed with her or dismiss her. He has the choice to tell her what he wants her to hear in order for her to feel comfortable enough to offer sex. For some reason, the role that the man plays in all of this is absent. His comment appeared extremely demeaning.

If a woman has (fill in the blank) “wrong” with her, that man has a choice if he wants to dismiss it and continue to engage with her or if he wants to dismiss her and move on with his life. If he chooses to stay around and “deal with” whatever he dislikes, he will eventually grow tired of it. If that man does not talk to the woman and tell her what the issue is they will never resolve it.

Communication is a necessity for the success of any relationship. If there is no communication from the man in the relationship, the woman will look elsewhere for it. Once she finds it she typically finds clarity. In that clarity, she will not offer sex but instead, she will realize that you may not be what she’s looking for.

Having limited options is completely different from having a choice.

Plan for Success

When I started this blogging process it was simply to share my thoughts. I did not have a plan for where I wanted my words to go. I knew that they had a purpose but I did not know what the purpose was.

Many people have relationships that operate the same way. Many of us go into relationships with no expectations. We think that we should accept what comes our way. We allow people to do things that we would tell someone else to run away from.

Some of us even go as so far as to neglect ourselves. We focus so heavily on what everyone else needs or wants and we dismiss ourselves. It is very easy to give away everything you have, but it is very hard to get it all back. We say that we know what we want from others but we are clueless as to what we need from self.

As I continued on this journey of becoming a writer, I learned a lot. One very practical lesson is walking aimlessly will lead you everywhere you didn’t want to go. In other words, there needs to be a plan. In business, in relationships, and in life — there needs to be a plan.

Yes, plans change. However, it is much easier to make an adjustment rather than build from the beginning. Life changes cause situations to change. Those changes can affect what we planned for our life. It is up to us to make those adjustments if we want results.

Everything we do requires a decision. We have to be ready to deal with the consequences or rewards associated. We have to take responsibility for what we choose to do. We have a choice to follow the process or to go against the grain. Each has its benefits. We find our purpose when we keep moving. Our results are often increased when we know how to plan for continued success.

Yes iPhone, write it.

I remember this line from Donald Glover’s standup routine, “Weirdo”. When I first heard it, I was hysterical with laughter. The context in which he used it was perfect! The joke was referring to how hard it is to type a message, an email, or text without the words being automatically corrected. The line makes so much sense in other areas of communication as well. It is funny to think about how many times we have sent out messages that we wish would have failed before reaching the sender. It makes me giggle to think about how many times I have attempted to stop a message from going through after I have accidentally pressed send. I am also reminded of my frustrations when I attempt to write a particular message and my words are autocorrected.

Communication is one of those things that many of us struggle with in some shape or form. Some of us are better writers than speakers and vice versa. Some of us lack the skill to effectively communicate period. Some of us are repelled by communication and avoid it at all cost. Some of us are open books willing to share whatever information is sought after.

Yes. The show was funny. He is a great comic. The message that I learned from the silly line “Yes iPhone, write it” is deeper than comedy. It reminded me that everyone is different. It reminded me that we do not have to be afraid of who we are. We do not have to be afraid of mistakes. We do not have to depend so heavily on technology to express our thoughts either.

Pour a new glass

There are times when things do not always go our way. We must adjust and move on. We have to know that crying over a cup of spilled milk will not solve the problem. Crying does not change the situation. In some instances crying is an excellent tool for coping. Nonetheless, it does not change anything.

Crying is a form of release that allows us to let out our emotions so that we can move forward. As previously stated, crying does not facilitate change. We have to learn to cry and move on. Once that cup of milk spills over, we can cry momentarily but we have to pour a new glass in order to quench our thirst.