There are not a lot of valid reasons to say no to your mate. Now, when I say mate, I mean someone that you have truly committed yourself to. I do not mean a jump-off, or a baby momma/daddy, or a girl/boyfriend. I mean someone that you are vowing to share yourself with until the end of time.
I can recall making statements like, “as long as it doesn’t violate my morals or values” or “I’ll do anything, within reason” during some of my relationships. Now that I think about these types of statements I get a little frustrated with the old me. That was a way that I lowered my standards to fit someone else into my space.
The fact is, a person that truly loves you will know you and will not put you in positions where you feel like you have to be different from who you are. A person that loves you will not ask you to do anything that even remotely interferes with your values or morals or beliefs. A person that is as committed to you as you are to them will not allow you to fade to black while they shine bright like a diamond.
Granted there are times when no necessary. However, this no that I am referring to is not the no that appears once every so often over an extended period of time. The no that I speak of is the consistent no. The no that comes as a natural response to the majority of the questions asked. The no that pierces the ego and crushes the spirit. The no that stabs love in the center of its core.
This kind of rejection causes damage that can be irreversible at times. The one thing that can help is open and honest communication. Although your mate will know you, your mate is not you. There are things that you will have to tell your mate. Mind readers are only in children’s stories so your mate will need you to tell them what you are thinking, what you need, what you like, and so on. When your mate tells you something, you have to listen.
Shutting down and turning away from one another only causes more problems. In order to avoid no taking over your relationship and tearing down what you have worked hard to build up, use it less with your mate. At the same time, you have to know what you need and what you are worthy of. Know that the mate that you have now may or may not be the one that you will see forever with.
Don’t say no unless you are willing to walk away.