Every time something happens in our life we want to talk to someone about it. We may not all want to talk to the same people but we all want someone to talk to. Some people talk to a parent, some have a number of friends. There are times when things happen that we do not want to bother those people with what we are going through. When we are in a relationship and those issues arise, we have to be willing to allow our mate to be our supporter. Just as we don’t want to bother our parents, family, or friends with what may be bothering us, we do not want to bother our mate. That’s the thing. When people really love you, they don’t feel bothered by your release of emotions. It is an amazing feeling to know that you have people in your corner. It feels astonishing to have the support of family and friends. It feels even better when that support is delivered by your mate.
I know what type of person I am in a relationship. With that being known, I know what I need in a relationship. I am very emotional in all aspects of the word. I am connected to my feelings. This does not mean that I am emotionally unstable (although that’s exactly what most men think when they hear the word “emotional”). It actually means that I am not afraid of acknowledging what I feel. In my opinion, one of the most important things in a relationship is having a man who understands me.
The only road to understanding is communication. If I do not disclose the things that trouble me or the things that bring me joy; how can I expect others to know? In a relationship, we want to be so private and so strong when things are not working in our favor. We try so hard to keep things to ourselves and handle them without others knowing. We do this mostly because we do not want anyone to be able to talk down about us. More times than not, we feel ashamed by being in the situation that we are in. So many of us get lost in the shuffle of trying to keep things in, being strong, having fun, maintaining, and struggling when it would be easier to just let it out.
There are times when a family member may not be as understanding as a friend. Maybe a friend is more objective than a mate. Nevertheless, the lines of communication should be open. When business is handled there is not hesitation to call and complain about what is not right and what we don’t like. When it comes to a relationship, we want to be silent and accept things just to have a certain status. When there is a breakdown in communication, there is a breakdown in productivity. A relationship, any kind of relationship, cannot thrive without effective communication. In order to communicate effectively, we have to open up and allow others in. We also have to be willing to go in ourselves.
Talking about feelings and emotions can be difficult. That does not mean that it should be avoided. A major problem in society is that people do not take the time to talk to one another. There is no actual clarity about issues. People talk at each other and behave as machines instead of human beings. Resolve cannot come if truth is left out of the equation. Unsolicited advice can ruin a relationship. Hence the reason why most people tend to solve problems alone without anyone being able to “advise” them. Relationships work better when ears are receptive and words are released in love and in due time.