Time and time again I find myself lost. Not lost like I don’t know where I am going, but lost as to how to get there. I know what my purpose is and I know what I am called to do. I am here to make a difference and to change the world. The world that I change may not be the natural world but if I can change how a person treats others I have accomplished my goal. If I can change the idea of a person from negative to positive then I have made a difference. I want to leave more than a memory when I am done serving my purpose here. I want to leave a legacy.
I think about the people that I allow into my life. The people that I allow in my space. The people that I allow in my mind. I think about the people that I allow to come in and disrupt. I also think about the people that come in and make a major impact. I think about the love that I have given and the pain that I have caused. I think about the relationship between truth and desire. I remember the feelings that were felt and how those feelings have shaped my current life. I am not heavily concerned with the opinion of others, except when those opinions are coming from those that have my best interest in mind.
Then I think about all of the people that said, “if you need anything, just let me know”. I think about how good it felt to have someone say that and feel as though they are genuine. I recall what it feels like to go to those people when I was in need, just to have them talk about me or tell me everything that I could have or should have done differently. People are so quick to judge a person’s situation until tragedy strikes. Then people are quick to say that they are always there to help. The quick mouth often comes with a slow hand. What is understood need not be explained.
When I get lost, I am not confused about where I am going, but I have to often adjust my plan and my actions of how to get there. I have to allow the right people in and protect myself from others. I have to be more responsible with who I invite into my journey. Everyone is not around so that they can help me rise. I understand that there will be some that come around just to impede my progress. Decisions that were made before cannot be made again, unless the same result is sought after. I plan to live a life of sanity. I do not intend on doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results. I plan to make a difference. I plant o be the change. I plan to continue regardless of the obstacles.
I am planning to make this lesson one that I do not have to learn again, but one that I can teach.