I was having a conversation the other day with a woman who is single and interested in changing her status. She was talking to me about her recent suitors and telling me about the issues in communication that seems to be generalized across the board.
Her and I both shared thoughts, insights, and experiences. By the end of our conversation we noticed that men often think that when a woman asks questions about their “current situation” she is asking for commitment.
The truth of it is that most women that are goal oriented are not interested in wasting time waiting for a man to decide if he will make a move or not. Most women are not willing to just sit and “see what happens” when she has life to live.
A lot of men use lies as a trampoline to jump over the defensive wall that women build. The “I love you” and “you are everything I’ve been looking for” and “I never met anyone like you” fables all end the same way. After sex none of the above matters. The words are used to tell a story that will excite a woman enough for her to “give in”.
The one thing that these men forget is that actions will prove the words right or wrong. The ideal situation built from lies will only be around for a limited time.
It is so much better to tell a woman the truth, respectfully, and allow her to decide to be in your space instead of lie to her to get her to evolve into the “crazy” girl that you used to talk to.
When a woman asks a man, “what are we doing?” or “where do we go from here?” or “what do you want from me?” most times she is looking for a truth-filled answer. That’s it. She doesn’t want to marry you right then. She is not asking to carry your seed. She is not trying to change her social media status or open joint accounts.
She wants to know if she needs to continue to invest her time into you. She wants to know if you are actually interested in her or her “goodies”. She wants to know if she needs to include you in her steps moving forward. If she is a single mother, she is trying to figure out what type of man/role model/positive figure you are going to be to the children. Women are caring, compassionate, nurturing creatures and we want to take care of all those in our presence. If and when men come along, they need to be clear on what they want and what they are willing to give and convey it clearly.
When a woman gives so much of herself; time, money, love, attention, and respect, and she feels that she is lied to, mistreated, taken for granted, etc. she will react. That reaction is often deemed as the cause of a problem when it is a REACTION to something that happened.
“Crazy” does not just happen. It is created from something, from somewhere. Yes, we know that relationships are give and take, good and bad, and push and pull. All parties must be willing to be the one either side at a given time and willing to accept the responsibilities of whichever side of the fence they land on. There should not be blame.
In short: Live in truth and you will have less “crazy” to deal with.