Just when I thought that I was good being by myself, you came along changed it up. Like a dope remix to a song you already loved, you switched it. You said, “Hey Beautiful” and at that moment, I had no idea who you were or what you were on. I didn’t know if I should let my guard down or if I should run in the opposite direction. From there, I did a little research on you. I was not disappointed by what turned up. I could not find anything that repulsed me, offended me, annoyed me, or anything like that. From what I could see, you seemed to be cool. You seemed cool enough to be somebody that I could be friends with. So…I responded back and said, “Hello.”
In that moment I didn’t have any expectations. I just wanted to see what would happen. I was curious. I did not want to get excited about anyone that may be just passing through. I did not think that you were coming into my life to change it or to impact it the way that you have. I was willing to see what opportunities you were knocking with; the door was closed when you got here. I was not going to push you away without valid reason. I had no reason to deny you a chance. Denying you was the opposite of what happened. Your mind captivated me. Your conversation engaged me. It was such a clean transition.
You went from being a stranger to someone who I enjoyed getting to know. Every moment spent getting to know you is beautiful. It feels good to connect with someone who is so much like me and so different at the same time. The connection is like a hand and glove or a head and a skully. Something like a match that just fits better than you could have ever imagined. I did not think that things would go this way. You came along and stirred up my comfort zone. You changed my thoughts about maintaining my single status.
I remembered that I have not been ‘bae’ for quite some time, though. I had been single for a good little minute. I was not even sure I was ready like I said I was. What I knew is that I was intrigued by you and I could not deny that. You have shown me so many wonderful things and I am so thankful. You have shown me that you are a handcrafted creation. A gentle touch from your strong hands gives comfort and protection. Your knowledge and wisdom give guidance and understanding. You are a gem, a gift, and I treasure you. I did not know that you were coming to me. If I knew, I would have been ready. I would have done some things differently. Since there is nothing I can do about all of that, I will focus on the facts.
You are here now. You are amazing. I am happy that you are here. You were given to me at such an amazing time. You have seen my transformations and turmoil and you are still here. You have been through a few things on your end and you have allowed me to stay on your side. We give one to another and it is so genuine. I have not felt a connection, a pull, with anyone like this. You were sent down from the top of my storm cloud to usher in the light. I see that. Your truth and honesty are respected and appreciated. The prototype of what many classify as a ‘real dude’, you give a whole new meaning to finding a REAL love.
I want a love so deep that it can’t be reached. I want a love so strong that it can’t be shattered. I want a love that last. I want a love that lingers.
I want a love.
True love. Real love.
I give that to me. I am ready to give it to him. I am ready for him to give it to me. I want a love so good that I long for it. I want a love so real that lies can’t infiltrate. I want a man who knows love. God’s love. True love. Forever love.
I want a love.
The love that I deserve. The love that belongs to me. The love created to love me. I am ready for my love. I am ready for my love to fill his heart. I am ready to feel his love embrace me.
I am ready.
Our love will be amazing! We will be great together. We have learned and will continue to grow together. I will love him forever. He will love me longer.
A real love. A true love. A natural love. A forever love.
I want my love. The love created for me.
We are never aware of why people come into our lives. We have no idea why we meet people. We are clueless to what the circumstances are surrounding our interactions. I have learned over the years that everything is not for us to understand. Although the lesson has been learned, I still have to take a refresher course every now and again.
There are times when I, being the analytical person that I am, attempt to figure things out. I try to gain clarity that is not there for me to see. I look around for answers to unasked questions. I have to remind myself that God works in mysterious ways and places people in our lives for our benefit. I have to remember that this is the moment that I am in and to enjoy it.
I have come across so many people in my lifetime. Some have rubbed me the wrong way and pushed themselves out of my life. Some have become staples in my growth and development. Some have memories in my life that will last forever. What ever their purpose, whatever their cause, whatever their goal I am grateful that I was able to move forward through it all.
Sometimes we do not know what we need until we receive it. I like gifts. They always come at the right time. They always bring a smile to the face of the recipient. When you are a person that is used to giving to others, it feels really good when there is someone that only wants to give to you. I am learning to accept the moment for what it is. I am learning to offer just enough and accept the gifts that come back to me in return. Happiness has been a distant friend for some time and I am glad that we are becoming closer.
It feels good to have a friend that just wants to be there for you and does not require anything from you in return. When we met our spirits embraced one another and we clicked immediately. His innocent hello leads to a blushing smile from cheek to cheek for me. His ability to remove negative thoughts from my mind is astounding. He is like the sunset at the end of a great day. The peaceful end to a tragedy.
Anytime a person has been hurt deeply by someone they love, they have a wall of defense up to protect them from feeling that type of pain again. From that moment, it takes a lot of time, patience, and assistance to grow from the dirt into the blooming flower. He scares me so good. He overwhelms me with proper manners, compliments, and his genuineness. Where has he been? The friend that I have been looking for has finally come!
I know that I get attached to people very quickly. It is because I am a genuine person. I care for people and their well-being. I give a lot of myself to put a smile on the faces of others. I treat people the way that I desire to be treated. He makes me feel safe and protected without even touching me. There is no pressure to put on a show and pretend to be someone that I am not.
He talks to me…he shares himself with me…he is a burst of positive energy that brightens my day. He treats me like a Queen. He does not make me feel guilty, unwanted, belittled, less than, or secondary. He uplifts my spirits and keeps a smile on my face and a tear of joy in my heart. He is just what I needed, just at this moment. I do not know his purpose in my life, but I know that I am thankful for his cameo appearance.
The feeling of happiness continues to surround me. He makes me feel like he genuinely cares about me as a person. He does not require anything of me, just that I am me. I like this feeling. I am very appreciative of his existence in my story. He has made a huge impact on my life and in my growth process. I know that he is here for a reason…let’s see what happens…true friends are hard to come by. Hopefully this friend is true…
First impressions of a person tell us a lot. Maya Angelou stated that when people show us who they are we need to believe them. For this reason, and others, I go with my gut reaction to a person. I know fairly quickly if I am interested in getting to know more about a person or if I am more interested in walking away.
I have met so many people in my life and many of them have used the rope that I give them to hang themselves instead of pick themselves up. Once I give a person an opportunity to be in my circle, they have a probationary stay. I am very easy going for the most part and very easily turned off. I do not want to be lied to, taken advantage of, or mistaken for someone that is weak and fragile. I am very capable of handling myself and making well informed decisions.
Once a person gives me a reason to rethink their place in my life, I am usually already done with them. I do not typically cut people off, they disconnect themselves from me. I just hold the rope, I do not tie it around the neck of the other person, I simply hold it.
I know my worth and I refuse to be mistreated or forced into thinking that how I want to be treated is wrong. I will not lower my standards to accommodate others. I will continue to be me. Yes, I will adjust over time but it will be for personal growth not for indirect pleasure. I am just me and I am fine with that.