Tag Archives: real love

I’m Happy You’re Here

Just when I thought that I was good being by myself, you came along changed it up. Like a dope remix to a song you already loved, you switched it. You said, “Hey Beautiful” and at that moment, I had no idea who you were or what you were on. I didn’t know if I should let my guard down or if I should run in the opposite direction. From there, I did a little research on you. I was not disappointed by what turned up. I could not find anything that repulsed me, offended me, annoyed me, or anything like that. From what I could see, you seemed to be cool. You seemed cool enough to be somebody that I could be friends with. So…I responded back and said, “Hello.”

In that moment I didn’t have any expectations. I just wanted to see what would happen. I was curious. I did not want to get excited about anyone that may be just passing through. I did not think that you were coming into my life to change it or to impact it the way that you have. I was willing to see what opportunities you were knocking with; the door was closed when you got here. I was not going to push you away without valid reason. I had no reason to deny you a chance. Denying you was the opposite of what happened. Your mind captivated me. Your conversation engaged me. It was such a clean transition.

You went from being a stranger to someone who I enjoyed getting to know. Every moment spent getting to know you is beautiful. It feels good to connect with someone who is so much like me and so different at the same time. The connection is like a hand and glove or a head and a skully. Something like a match that just fits better than you could have ever imagined. I did not think that things would go this way. You came along and stirred up my comfort zone. You changed my thoughts about maintaining my single status.

I remembered that I have not been ‘bae’ for quite some time, though. I had been single for a good little minute. I was not even sure I was ready like I said I was. What I knew is that I was intrigued by you and I could not deny that. You have shown me so many wonderful things and I am so thankful. You have shown me that you are a handcrafted creation. A gentle touch from your strong hands gives comfort and protection. Your knowledge and wisdom give guidance and understanding. You are a gem, a gift, and I treasure you. I did not know that you were coming to me. If I knew, I would have been ready. I would have done some things differently. Since there is nothing I can do about all of that, I will focus on the facts.

You are here now. You are amazing. I am happy that you are here. You were given to me at such an amazing time. You have seen my transformations and turmoil and you are still here. You have been through a few things on your end and you have allowed me to stay on your side. We give one to another and it is so genuine. I have not felt a connection, a pull, with anyone like this. You were sent down from the top of my storm cloud to usher in the light. I see that. Your truth and honesty are respected and appreciated. The prototype of what many classify as a ‘real dude’, you give a whole new meaning to finding a REAL love.

Allowing Love

I can remember the moment that I knew that my marriage was over. I can remember the feeling of failing at something that I knew I should be good at. I felt like I was supposed to be a bomb wife. I felt like the demise of the relationship was my fault. I stayed in that place for a little while but then I came to the truth.

The truth of the matter is that I was a bomb wife. I was everything that I thought that I should be. I was just giving it to someone who did not want it. I gave myself to someone who only wanted a piece of me. Once I realized that, I began to blame him.

That wasn’t right either. It was not reasonable to blame him for what I allowed him to do. I walked away from it all and worked on me. I begin to learn about what I wanted. I begin to see what I needed. I begin to focus on loving myself.

Every year I learned something new. Every experience and interaction revealed something different. Every time I thought I was out of the woods, I was shown that there were still trees ahead. The moment when I wasn’t looking for love, it bloomed from the concrete.

In this moment, it seems as if the journey is over. It feels as if there is nothing left to fight and that the battle is complete. In this moment, it feels like love have found me. Not only has it found me but it is embracing me. The time that it took to get here was not exciting and fun. It was hard and rough most of the time. Nevertheless, I am thankful for my lessons. I am thankful for seeing through the BS of others and clearing the path for love to find me.

I am thankful that I learned to love who I am. To love what I stand for. To love love even when love hurt me so bad. I am so thankful that I allowed love to find me. It feels amazing to have someone see you in the way that you see you as if they are your mirror. It feels amazing to have someone who wants to be everything to me that I want to be to them.

I am thankful that all of the pain and hurt has gone away so that I can receive the love that is coming to me. I am thankful that the past does not linger in my present and I am happy that the love in my present is here.

We have to know that pain is apart of the healing process. In order to get to a place where we can truly experience love, true love (real love), we have to be clear on the difference between lust and love. We have to know the truth about what is for us and what we accept. We have to understand that everything that we accept is not the best thing for us. Allowing love to move in when pain is still high is a recipe for destruction. You can only allow love to come in when you allow yourself to love you first.

Black Love

When I think of the phrase “black love” so many thoughts cross my mind.

I thought about separating the words to dig deeper and gain more clarity. I was curious to see if that would provide me with the answers that I was looking for.

I looked at the word LOVE first.

Some say that love is butterflies and goosebumps every time the other person comes around.
Some believe it to be the yearning for one another.
Some may even say that love is simply a natural progression from like.

To me, it is the most important portion of the phrase.
It is what we need to sustain our humanity.
To have love, to give love, to want love, to need love, to know love is an immeasurable gift.
Whether it hurts or not, we all seek to have love and to be loved.
Love is one constant in life that ties us all together.

Love can be felt, but it cannot be touched.
Love can be shared, but it cannot be claimed.
Love can be given, but it cannot be taken.

Love is such a beautiful conundrum that can transform the darkest sky into a serene oasis.

Now the word BLACK

It is first thought of as a color or the presence of all colors.
Some view it as an empty space.
Some see nothing.

Black has the tendency to be described in a manner that depicts it to be negative, dirty, or unwanted.
To me, when I think about what black is, I think about me.

I am deep, dark, and often misunderstood.
I am the shadow of what I was told beauty is to be.
There is so much clarity in the darkness and I enjoy my time there.

When I unite the two words, the phrase is a source of peace and power.
A source of unity and strength.

BLACK LOVE

Black love is not dirty or tainted.
Black love is not strong lust that is wrapped in lies.
Black love is not empty space full of forced affection.

Black love is deep love.
Love that fills you from your roots to your offspring.

Black love is dark love.
Love that has more secrets to success than a master magician.

Black love is constant love.
Love that flows from the spirit to the body.

The love that I have to share is that love that I want to receive.
The love that I have to give is that love that I want to cherish.
The love that I want to feel is the love that I show.

I don’t want any love.
I want my love.
Black love.