The “I’ll call you” goodbye

When it comes to things that I MUST do, dating is near listening to Freddy’s claws scraping the chalkboard. I do not despise or hate dating, I hate the way men act when they are dating.

I have never dated a woman so I can only speak on how a woman is from being a woman. I am, however, qualified to talk about how men are in regard to my experiences. Being single as a teen or someone in your early 20’s is COMPLETELY different from being single as a woman in your 30’s. Once you add all of the additional hats it is amazing that women are able to have time for anything.

Most single women react to dating men in a way that is often the opposite of how a younger woman would react. Most times by the time women reach their 30’s they have accomplished a lot in their life. Due to the increased experiences there is an increased chance for pain and heartbreak.

Men constantly say that women hold the power of the world beneath their womb and yet they try anything to take it away. The idea of dating is to get to know a person. To find out if there is something worth pursuing. Women are not interested in raising a man into the man she wants him to be.

She wants a man who listens and understands without her having to make the same requests repeatedly. Women are capable of handling the truth and actually prefer it. Some men assume that because women are more in touch with emotions, that telling us the truth will shatter our porcelain dreams of affection. Women, and I mean grown women, have already been told all the lies and that is how they are able to recognize them.

Love is not required to date. It is not even an option in the beginning. The same should be true for lies. I have noticed that men will often tell a woman those three words…the three words that will have some women sleeping with their phone in their hand and some women ignoring the words as soon as they hit the air.

Those three words…”I’ll call you”…so many men use this as a way out instead of just saying what they really mean. Some women hold on to the idea of a possibility that was given to her by a man who is not interested in moving past the moment. When that woman seeks clarity or acts according to what she feels (based off of what he has said/done) she is demeaned and referred to as “that crazy (________).” The man who told her that he would “call her” gave her a hope that there is potential even though his reality does not match her dream.

Women are emotional and for that reason men should be more conscious of the words they use to “let her down easy” or to “keep the door open”. I urge all men to simply say what you mean instead of “I’ll call you” when they are not going to follow through with the statement and be present. Living in truth is hard…but life is better when we do it.

What do you think?